Dear English Department Portfolio Assessment Committee,

My name is Delia Medina. About the age of ten, I knew I liked writing. Growing up in foster care was a tough experience, and writing was the only way to express my emotions. I’ve always wanted to write a book about my life, and everything I have managed to overcome and conquer at such a young age. But I’ve always felt like my writing skills weren’t good enough or well developed. In this class I think I have found the writer in me. I have learned to write a well-developed essay. I have chosen to include three essay in my portfolio: a memoir, an ethnography and a text wrestling piece.

My first piece is the memoir essay. This essay was a bit more challenging. Work wise was easy but emotionally it was tough. The hardest part was going back and remembering unpleasant moments from my childhood to be able to put my thoughts together without letting my emotions get the best of me. At one moment my emotions did get the best of me. I remember seating on the kitchen table crying, wondering how my life could have been if I had a normal family if my parents would have been part of my life and watched me grow into the young adult I am now. Having to deal with a mixture of emotions. Not having clear thought, I decided to take a break from the essay. I was planning on getting back to my essay in about an hour or two once I was more calm. But my plans didn’t go as I planned. I had completely forgot all about finishing up that paragraph. The day before my rough draft was due, I had to pull it together and finish it up. But overall I found that this essay was interesting to me.

The ethnography essay was the easiest essay of them all to write. I already had a clear understanding in my head on how the essay would be written out. It was just a matter of refreshing my memory back to that specific day. This essay included a lot of brainstorming. I scribbled my rough draft and I just started freely writing about everything that popped up in my head. The more I would write the more I would remember. I had a lot of looking back and revising to do on my essay. I often have problem with sentence boundaries. I either make them too long causing run off or to short casing fragments. I knew I had a lot of revising to do on my essay. I needed to create a piece I would be pleased with. Finding the small errors on where to put commas or find my grammar mistakes took me a  little while and a lot of rereading and proof reading over my essay. I wrote down the same sentences a couple different ways to rephrase my sentences in better wording. Overall I was satisfy with my essay. I’ve learned that if I proof read and catch on to the small errors and take my time that I can create a good essay.

The text wrestling essay was quite hard. I didn’t enjoy any part of it from the reading down to developing my essay. I felt like this essay dragged. I would run out of things to write and slowly start repeating myself. The reading just wasn’t pleasant to read.  I couldn’t get my thoughts together or concentrated. The body paragraph was even worse. I felt like time was passing by and I couldn’t get a grip on my essay. I felt lost, confused, worried and just annoyed. All of a sudden after wasting time thinking. I began to write the more I wrote the more I felt my essay coming together. I would stop at times but then I would find more things to add on to my paragraphs. Overall I learned that I can still write a good essay on material that I may not find fun or that I find to be difficult.

Overall  this class has made me realize a lot of things. I have always liked writing but it has always been a challenge to be able make a well-developed piece. Over in this coarse I have learn a lot of Techniques on how to improve my writing skills. I have learned to identify different writing pieces. This course has opened my mind and my thoughts are now more complex. My writing has continues to improved more and more in this class thanks to my teacher. My writing is now more interesting than it used to be, and overall I have learned that I shouldn’t feel insecure about my writing. I know that if I put the effort into my writing it will have a positive outcome.

Sincerely,

Delia Medina

I’ve never once thought that my own parents would abandon me. They were supposed to love me unconditionally. Growing up in foster care was a very tough experience, and not having the most important person in my life made it even harder. I felt alone, sad and depressed. I just wanted my parents and my old life back and to be happy.

Growing up as a child I always thought I had the perfect family or maybe I was just too small to realize what was actually going on. What would a child know about grown-up problem. The older I got the more things I started to realize. My dad would constantly drink Non-Stop. But that wasn’t the worst part. He would turn into a monster when he drank. Maybe that was why he would beat my mom. Maybe that’s what pushed my mom into another man’s arms. Maybe that could have been what pushed her into doing drugs. Maybe she’s just trying to escape from all the pain. It was like our life slowly started to crumble down. My dad had stabbed the man my mom was having an affair with at my house in front of my siblings and I, the Department of Children and Families got involved again. A couple weeks after the incident my siblings and I were removed from our home. My mom and my dad made the decision to get a divorce.

There was so many sleepless nights. Where I would just lay in bed and cry. I wondered why this was happening to me, maybe if I would have behaved or have been a better child maybe I wouldn’t be in the position I was in. I would constantly blame myself and feel guilty about the situation. I just missed my mother her kisses and her hugs. What child doesn’t need their parents ?  Growing up my mother seem to have everything together. She was a normal mom with a normal life. But once drugs got involved things started to go downhill for my family. My mother wasn’t the same it was like a new person had taken over her. The addiction to drugs was slowly taking over her life. Drugs became her number one priority forgetting about my siblings and I. Drugs didn’t only affect her but it also affected us as well. My mom was no longer able to control her addiction. That was the main cause why the department of Children and Families removed us from our home.

I was in foster care for almost two years, my mother decided to give up her rights as  a mother. When my siblings and I found out the news ,we were shattered. We always had that  hope that we would return back home and be a normal family again. At the age of fifteen I got pregnant. I was only a freshman in high school. I was beyond terrified of becoming a teen mom. But one thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to be nothing like my mother. When I had my son it was the best moment of my life. It was love at first sight. From that moment I knew I wanted to be the best mother I could possibly be.

Growing up without my parent impact my life tremendously. The person who was supposed to protect me, hurt me the most. Caused so much pain and hurt. So many bad memories that I will never forget. My child gave me a reason in life. He taught me to see brighter days ahead.  Having him reassure me that everything was going to be okay, that I was strong enough to move forward and create a better future for him a nd myself. Being a teen mom was extremely hard but I was able to pull it together.  I found a job, finished high school, purchase my first car, moved out on my own at the age of eighteen and made my way into college. Even though my mother caused me a lot of pain. I learned how to be a better mother from her mistakes. I just want to my child to have the life I never did.

I could never picture my son at the age of three, now here you are standing in front of me as I stare into your dark big brown eyes. How I envy those long beautiful eyelashes. How I wish you were as innocent as you look. Luis is not a morning person. When he wakes up, he is cranky and whiny. But once he gets up and walks his little legs over to the refrigerator and drinks a juice, it all goes away. Luis is a mama’s boy. He loves to follow me around the house, being attached like glue . He likes to call himself my bodyguard. It’s so crazy how at the age of three he knows about protecting something or someone.

As we drive to school each morning, Luis likes to talk to me about his dreams. Which usually involve a cartoon character such as the minions, PJ masks, or the Paw Patrol’s fighting the bad guys. Luis has a big imagination when it comes to cartoons or something he is interested in. Luis can have a never-ending conversation with you about his cartoons. It amazes me to see how he knows the names of all the  characters on each of the different cartoon shows.

As we enter Luis preschool we never fail to look at the arts and craft bulletin board next to his classroom . I love seeing his art work, even though most of the time it’s a whole bunch of scribbles everywhere on a piece of paper. Right when Luis enters his classroom he knows to take off his jacket and put it away, to stand in line, to wash his hands, to sit, and eat his breakfast with his friends. Every day I wonder why he can’t do this at home. Instead he takes of his jacket throws it on the floor, takes off his shoes, and runs on the couch ready to watch cartoons. Luis’s classroom is a very kid friendly place with bright color everywhere. There ABC’s , numbers , colors , and letters all over the walls. Each child has their own cubby that contains a picture and a photo of themselves. The classroom is full of a variety of different toys.

It amazes me to see how well Luis interacts with others. He such a loving, caring, and energetic kid who gets along with everyone. Luis attends preschool from eight in the morning to about two thirty in the afternoon. When I pick up Luis his class is in the gym. The gym is probably the craziest part of the school. There so many children running around at the same time that it makes it harder to find Luis. I find it hard to find Luis sometimes, however he usually comes running all excited into my arms screaming mommy, mommy. The way he reacts when he sees me always gives me the vibe that he missed me.

Luis’s favorite place to go is Chuck-E-Cheese. He loves that place. We usually go there about four times a month sometimes even more. I don’t know how he doesn’t get tired of it. Maybe it could be because of the games, prizes, rides, food, and all the entertainment attractions. Chuck E cheese is always full of kids running around everywhere, and having fun. Luis’s favorite game is a horse racing game. It’s a big horse and you sit the child on top of the saddle.  In front of the horse there’s a screen and on that screen you see about five to eight horse getting ready to race. Once Luis presses the start button, his face gets full of excitement. The horse begins to move rocking side to side going up and down. Luis usually loses but he’s too small to realize he’s losing. I usually cheer him on and pretend like he’s winning the race. Luis usually likes to play kid games that barely gives  him any tickets . So when it’s time to exchange the tickets and pick a prize you could just imagine how that goes. When Luis doesn’t get things the way he planned them, he acts like it’s the end of the world. Luis will cry, fuss, and scream.

By the time we go home you could imagine how exhausted Luis would be, however instead he’s running around the house playing with his toy gun pretending he’s shooting the imaginary bad guys. Everywhere you look in Luis’ room you will spot toys from all different sizes such as small, medium, and huge ones that are even bigger than him.. His bed is filled with so many stuffed animals he’s gotten over the past years. He has this huge Ninja Turtle tent that he calls his hideout. Once you enter the tent there’s a bunch of toy kitchen supplies, a chalkboard, his walkie talkies, his Play-Doh, his tools set, and a huge bin filled with more toys. He also has another bin filled with his favorite toddler books such as “Monkey Jumping On The Bed” too “Cat In The Hat”. He can stay in his room for hours if you let him . Overall Luis is the typical 3 year old boy who’s all about his toys and having a good time.

Stephen Marche in the article Home Economics ; The Link Between Work Life Balance And Income Equality talks about the standard American family always having to work leaving little to no time for family entertainment. He compares the domestic lifestyle to a behind TV show series. In other words you ask yourself how will you make this happen ? but along the way there’s tears and also laughter, and at the end of the day the only important thing is that everyone is fed and has clothes on their back. No matter whether the household income came from the father working and the mother staying at home or vice versa. It doesn’t matter who brings the money home as long as the family has the necessary things they need.

He also says that however over the years things have changed. Decades ago there was gender roles. It was a woman’s job to take care of her kids and the responsibility that needed to be done at the house. While the men were the head of household because they provided the income for his family. Men would also make the decisions around the house. But over the years things have changed there are no longer gender roles.” The family has changed and is further changing, while at work, patriarchy survives as a kind of anachronistic holdover, like daylight savings or summer vacation”. In his article he talks about the Pew study.  It’s a study that asks cohabiting males and female couples who makes the decisions at home.  The results of the study were ” in 26% of households, the man; well and 43% of households the woman did. Marche talks about how woman are equal to men when it comes to jobs. He states that out of the fifteenth fastest growing jobs categories in the United States 13 are dominated by woman”.

I can agree with Marche that over the years gender roles have evolved. Each household has different opinion on who should be in charge and what responsibility belongs to who. Not everyone going follow the same beliefs or the same process as someone else. When Marche says it doesn’t matter who brings the money home as long as the family has the main necessary things they need I agree.  I find  that Jennifer Ludden article connects to stay at home dad while moms are the bread winners. If the couple don’t have a problem with the woman working and the dad being a stay at home father, then why should anyone else. Ludden two colleagues also find that there nothing wrong with being a stay at home father and neither do I .

When I was fifteenth I became a teen mom and had my son. I remember sitting down with my boyfriend in front of a computer applying for jobs. We had to find some sort of income to take care of our responsibilities. We were both applying for jobs. The baby’s father and I had agreed whoever got called first for an interview and got the job would be the one that would work. While the other stayed home with the baby since we had no one to watch him. I remember I was the one that got the call First for an interview at McDonald’s. We were finally so happy to have some sort of income. I didn’t mind him being a stay-at-home dad for the time being. He was happy with staying home with the baby taking care of him while I was at work. Luis was a stay-at-home dad for about 4 months until he started working. We have found a really good daycare opportunity so we took it and made the best of it. We were both working. We both worked for about two years. Recently Luis had found a better job opportunity. And we both came to the conclusion that I would focus on my education and attend college full time while Luis worked and attended college part-time. As a couple we have tried everything from him being a stay-at-home dad, to me being a stay-at-home mom, to both of us working. Any of those methods work as long as you’re both happy as a couple and both agree that’s all that matters. I agree with Marche gender roles have evolved over the years and not everyone has to follow the same belief.

Work cited

Marche, Stephen. “Home Economics: The Link Between Work-Life Balance and Income Equality.” The Atlantic. Atlantic Media Company, 19 Feb. 2014. Web. 11 May 2017.

Ludden, Jennifer. “Stay-At-Home Dads, Breadwinner Moms And Making It All Work.” NPR, NPR, 15 May 2013, www.npr.org/2013/05/15/180300236/stay-at-home-dads-breadwinner-moms-and-making-it-all-work%C2%A0. Accessed 11 May 2017.